This Spoiler Alert Requires a Therapist and an Analyst

Spoiler Alerts are always a sensitive subject (and very much a first-world problem). And now we’re about to enter into a new frontier of Spoiler Alerts, which henceforth shall be known as the Arrested Development Rule.

Quite simply, at 12:01am on May 26th, 15 new episodes of Arrested Development are going to be released simultaneously on Netflix. Which means, 7.5 hours after its release, somebody could post a major series-ending spoiler on Facebook or Twitter and cause some serious emotional distress.

With the growing popularity of TV producers utilizing this streaming release strategy, it’s time to find a universal rule for handling potential spoilers for this and all future high-profile “TV” programs.

My suggestion is pretty straightforward. When it comes to Spoiler Alerts, utilize the traditional TV calendar timeline. If there are 15 episodes, it seems appropriate to wait 15 weeks so a majority of those that care to have caught up. Yes, that’s nearly four grueling months to not give away any spoilers.

Here’s how it would work for the different types of viewers:

• Binge-watchers: You may not have so many real-life responsibilities (hence, the ability to binge-watch), but please take some responsibility here. Be respectful of where you post and what you say. You are unlikely to have anything spoiled for you, so don’t spoil it for the rest of us.

• Casual viewers: Whether you watch one episode per week or 4 episodes every Saturday night, you essentially have the entire summer to get through it all. Seems pretty reasonable. And don't post about specific episodes unless you're willing to risk that somebody's response could include a reference to an episode you haven't seen yet.

• First-Timers: Inevitably, some people who’ve never seen the show before will get caught up in the hype and start watching AD in order, beginning with Season One. Unless you can get through it all in just a few months, you should take certain precautions when online. For example, Google search’s auto-fill does NOT come with a Spoiler Alert function so I’d recommend that you not look up anything AD-related.

So does the moratorium just end 15 weeks later on September 1^st? Well, I believe you should always post cautiously about TV, especially with major plot developments. But as time goes by, the Spoiler Alert onus falls from those in the know to those who want to stay out of the know.

Maeby I’m right about this. Maeby I’m wrong. What do you think?

Logitech Goes Back to Bacon

I just saw the new Logitech Revue TV spot with Kevin Bacon and I love it! Of course, I don’t have a freakin’ clue what the product does. But here’s what the creative does:

• They used a celebrity in a fun and interesting way. How often does that happen with celebrity endorsers?

• They used the perfect celebrity. We’re all six degrees from Kevin Bacon.

• They used the perfect mix of charm, message, and creepiness to make me want to watch it again, and pray that more spots will be coming our way soon.

The potential downside, like I mentioned earlier, is that the spots don’t do a great job of explaining the technology. But they put the product on the map and very much in the discussion by playing up the benefit to the average consumer without bogging us down in details. Would anybody email you a techy, descriptive TV spot?

Add it all up and it’s one more formula for going viral (assuming they get a working link up on the internet. I can’t find one right now).

Creativity Starts With Rhythm

Like most people, I don’t do my best creative thinking on cue. The unfortunate fact is that usually my best creative thinking doesn’t even happen at my desk/computer. Here’s where my creativity seems to spark regularly:

Running: I prefer to run outdoors, and I usually don’t listen to music.

Washing Dishes: This includes loading/unloading the dishwasher and washing the non-dishwasher safe stuff too.

Showering: Basically, Murphy’s Law states that my best ideas happen anywhere I can’t feasibly grab a pen and immediately write it down.

Doodling: Technically this is me in concepting mode. But I prefer to continuously put pen to paper rather than twiddling my thumbs while I wait for brilliance to strike.

What do all of these activities have in common? They’re all mundane and repetitive activities that enable me to keep a rhythm. These are the moments when I’m not putting pressure on myself to be creative and I’m not distracting myself either.

As an advertising creative, we need to each recognize our own personal rhythms and use them to our advantage. It’s also important to discover your personal rythym around your workspace, because most deadlines don’t wait for your moment of creative zen.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta hit the shower because I have a big assignment due later today.

Another Smart Quarterback Decision

Tom Brady is now the highest profile endorser of Under Armour. Seems like everybody universally agrees that this is a good thing for Under Armour. Off the field he’s no Peyton Manning, but considering who he is, there should be plenty of creative options for the advertising agency. Brady is a handsome winner with a high Q Score and an adequate amount of acting talent (for an athlete).

But it seems like nobody has voiced an opinion whether or not it’s a good move for Tom Brady to leave the behemoth known as Nike. Well, I’m here to say it’s a great move for him. Here’s why:

MONEY: Yes, of course this was a financial decision. But there’s more to this story.

OWNERSHIP: He was given a small piece of the company, so this is really just another way of saying A LOT of money. But now he’s personally invested. If Under Armour were to ever opens a new flagship store on Michigan Avenue, guess who’d be there at the Grand Opening signing autographs and tossing the ball to an adoring crowd? Everybody wins with this one.

LOST IN THE SHUFFLE: Until this week I didn’t know that one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time was even on Nike’s roster of athlete endorsers. It’s Tiger, LeBron and a bunch of other great athletes. Brady is bigger than all the other athletes, but he’d never eclipse Tiger and LeBron when it comes to moving Nike merchandise. So if you can’t join ‘em, go somewhere else and beat ‘em.

PAST HIS PRIME: Technically, he’s still in his prime, but it seems like Tommy Boy is starting to think about the next phase of his career. Most of our greatest athletes fall off the face of the earth after they retire. And those still ekeing out endorsement money, are slumming it compared to their heyday (I’m looking at you Joe Montana). Tom Brady just started doing Xfinity commercials this season, and I think it’s the first time he’s shown his personality on camera, rather than just being a pretty face associated with the brand. I expect more of the same once we start seeing his Under Armour creative. As Jules from “Pulp Fiction” said, “Personality goes a long way.”

UNDERDOG STATUS: Hard for a handsome, 3-time Super Bowl champion who’s married to a Victoria’s Secret supermodel to claim underdog status. But in my opinion, switching from Nike to the underdog Under Armour brand, helps makes him seem more likable and relatable. It evokes the imagery and reputation that he had when he first burst on the scene.

Add it all up, and Tom Brady is definitely thinking about his future He sees a great life beyond the football field, which may help explain why he begs the referees for Roughing the Passer penalties every time one of his opponents breathes on him.

Top 5 Freelancer Seating Arrangements

I’ve freelanced at all sorts of advertising agencies: big and small, hip and stodgy, spacious and cramped. I’ve found that these are the Top 5 locations where freelance creatives get seated (in no particular order):

Next to the Copy Machine: It’s loud and noisy, so it’s tough to concentrate. There’s plenty of foot traffic, so you’ll meet everybody you’re seated near. And obviously the copy machine breaks down constantly, so you’ll learn to make small talk with the repair guy. But the biggest downside is you could eventually become this guy.

Near the Bathroom: Why not put the “temp” where nobody wants to sit. This is another location where you can meet just about everybody in the office. This spot brings out the Sociologist in me. I keep an eye on who are the most frequent visitors and who spends the most time inside. These people rarely make eye contact with me. When I’m seated here, I make sure to keep handy my old school track coach’s stopwatch.

Out in the Open: When things are going well for an agency, they start running out of space. This usually leads to lengthier freelance assignments, but includes longer stays at undesirable work stations. When you’re out in the open, you’re usually set up with a makeshift desk, second-rate chair, and no cubicle walls. You are basically an exhibit at the zoo, only it’s more like a petting zoo. People can sneak up on you from any direction, and your every movement along with your computer monitor is on display for the world at all times. This location has killed many a freelancer’s fantasy football team.

Corner Office: Everybody in every company wants to sit in a corner office. You’ve got privacy, great views and Feng Shui up the ying yang. So when a bigwig retires or an agency trims some excess fat salaries, the corner office rarely gets filled immediately. It’s so valuable it requires consideration from the Executive Committee. In the meantime, it’s the most logical place to seat a freelancer when they come in. Warning: this seems like a freelancers paradise, but it actually makes it more difficult to ingratiate yourself with the team.

The Edge of Somebody Else’s Desk: Truly the last resort. Nobody wants to share a desk with you. If you find yourself in this situation, I’d recommend bringing your own pens, paperclips and other supplies. And for the love of all things decent, if this is your situation, don’t ever eat a tuna sandwich at your workstation.

Good luck freelancers. Be safe out there.

Really, Microsoft? That's Your Insight?

Microsoft is about to unleash Windows Phone 7 on the world. And they’ve already started teasing us with commercials for the world’s newest Smart Phone. There are two that I’ve seen. If you haven’t seen them, watch them HERE and HERE.

They’re beautifully shot, well executed, simple and cool. I can’t say enough about them. But in my opinion, there’s one glaring problem here. The human insight that makes these spots go, just isn’t true. Kind of makes the creative a moot point.

Here’s the rationale from David Webster, chief strategy officer in Microsoft's central marketing group. I just pulled this quote off the internet without really checking my sources. I’m not a journalist, so cut me some slack here.

“Our point is to say that the right phone design can allow you to get in, get that done and get back out, which is really what I think most people would strive to do if the phone didn't interfere with that by making them do too many steps, go down too many silos, switch paths too many times.”

Well sir, I disagree. Sure, iPhone and other Smart Phone users might be annoyed about the number of steps (by my estimate, it takes three touches just to get to the phone keypad on my iPhone). But we don’t walk around staring at our phones like zombies because they’re slow or technologically cumbersome.

We’re staring at them because we’ve never held so much information in the palm of our hands before. This is new to us. We’d rather be engaged with our new toy than the world around us. In fact, I’m most zoned into my surroundings during the 30 seconds while I’m waiting for my Scrabble app to load.

I’m surprised Microsoft would build their creative campaign around this insight. Haven’t we learned anything from the other technological advances over the years that were supposed to make our lives more efficient? They don’t make life easier, they just bring on more work, longer to-do lists and tighter deadlines.

Now that’s a strategy I would love to see a strong advertising agency tackle. Really.

Should McDonald's Serve Billions and Billions on Twitter?

I stumbled across the verified McDonald’s Twitter account (@McDonalds) and an unverified sight that seems to be the official Burger King Twitter account (@BurgerKing). As of 9/21/10, @McDonalds has about 47,000 followers and @BurgerKing has about 1100 followers.

These numbers are hardly a reflection of the overall Social Media strategy for my two favorite restaurants from 1980 through 1998. But it leads me to believe these two rivals have two different approaches to Twitter.

With a little bit of unscientific research, it seems like McDonald’s reach is much broader and more intensive. They have a PR team that also tweets under the umbrella of the Golden Arches. Each member is semi-focused on customer and franchisee satisfaction, as well as the general interests of their core consumer. Basically, it’s a textbook strategy for a method of communication whose textbook is still being written.

But BK (again without too much of a deep-dive research effort on my part) seems to be taking a bit more of a laissez-faire approach. They’re responsive to the customer, but with only 1100 followers, I can’t imagine they’re aggressively seeking to grow this number. There are also quite a few localized BK accounts; I assume these are their franchisees. It’s an interesting and exciting move for the franchisee committed to PR.

I think both McDonald’s and Burger King recognize that the Twitter community is comparatively a small part of their target, and most of their true fans probably already follow them on Facebook. But does BK have a Whopper of a Twitter problem? And is 47,000 McDonald’s followers a satisfying number for a company that loves to tout the fact that they’ve served “Billions and Billions?”

There are plenty of ways for both to grow Twitter followers exponentially (for starters- hire creative copywriters in order to give the King his own Twitter feed and give The Hamburglar a new lease on life online). It may not be their most pressing need today, but it wouldn't hurt. After all, you never know when Google will start optimizing their search engine by total of Twitter followers. Or some other such business nonsense that continues to keep us all on our toes.