This Spoiler Alert Requires a Therapist and an Analyst

Spoiler Alerts are always a sensitive subject (and very much a first-world problem). And now we’re about to enter into a new frontier of Spoiler Alerts, which henceforth shall be known as the Arrested Development Rule.

Quite simply, at 12:01am on May 26th, 15 new episodes of Arrested Development are going to be released simultaneously on Netflix. Which means, 7.5 hours after its release, somebody could post a major series-ending spoiler on Facebook or Twitter and cause some serious emotional distress.

With the growing popularity of TV producers utilizing this streaming release strategy, it’s time to find a universal rule for handling potential spoilers for this and all future high-profile “TV” programs.

My suggestion is pretty straightforward. When it comes to Spoiler Alerts, utilize the traditional TV calendar timeline. If there are 15 episodes, it seems appropriate to wait 15 weeks so a majority of those that care to have caught up. Yes, that’s nearly four grueling months to not give away any spoilers.

Here’s how it would work for the different types of viewers:

• Binge-watchers: You may not have so many real-life responsibilities (hence, the ability to binge-watch), but please take some responsibility here. Be respectful of where you post and what you say. You are unlikely to have anything spoiled for you, so don’t spoil it for the rest of us.

• Casual viewers: Whether you watch one episode per week or 4 episodes every Saturday night, you essentially have the entire summer to get through it all. Seems pretty reasonable. And don't post about specific episodes unless you're willing to risk that somebody's response could include a reference to an episode you haven't seen yet.

• First-Timers: Inevitably, some people who’ve never seen the show before will get caught up in the hype and start watching AD in order, beginning with Season One. Unless you can get through it all in just a few months, you should take certain precautions when online. For example, Google search’s auto-fill does NOT come with a Spoiler Alert function so I’d recommend that you not look up anything AD-related.

So does the moratorium just end 15 weeks later on September 1^st? Well, I believe you should always post cautiously about TV, especially with major plot developments. But as time goes by, the Spoiler Alert onus falls from those in the know to those who want to stay out of the know.

Maeby I’m right about this. Maeby I’m wrong. What do you think?