Top 5 Freelancer Seating Arrangements

I’ve freelanced at all sorts of advertising agencies: big and small, hip and stodgy, spacious and cramped. I’ve found that these are the Top 5 locations where freelance creatives get seated (in no particular order):

Next to the Copy Machine: It’s loud and noisy, so it’s tough to concentrate. There’s plenty of foot traffic, so you’ll meet everybody you’re seated near. And obviously the copy machine breaks down constantly, so you’ll learn to make small talk with the repair guy. But the biggest downside is you could eventually become this guy.

Near the Bathroom: Why not put the “temp” where nobody wants to sit. This is another location where you can meet just about everybody in the office. This spot brings out the Sociologist in me. I keep an eye on who are the most frequent visitors and who spends the most time inside. These people rarely make eye contact with me. When I’m seated here, I make sure to keep handy my old school track coach’s stopwatch.

Out in the Open: When things are going well for an agency, they start running out of space. This usually leads to lengthier freelance assignments, but includes longer stays at undesirable work stations. When you’re out in the open, you’re usually set up with a makeshift desk, second-rate chair, and no cubicle walls. You are basically an exhibit at the zoo, only it’s more like a petting zoo. People can sneak up on you from any direction, and your every movement along with your computer monitor is on display for the world at all times. This location has killed many a freelancer’s fantasy football team.

Corner Office: Everybody in every company wants to sit in a corner office. You’ve got privacy, great views and Feng Shui up the ying yang. So when a bigwig retires or an agency trims some excess fat salaries, the corner office rarely gets filled immediately. It’s so valuable it requires consideration from the Executive Committee. In the meantime, it’s the most logical place to seat a freelancer when they come in. Warning: this seems like a freelancers paradise, but it actually makes it more difficult to ingratiate yourself with the team.

The Edge of Somebody Else’s Desk: Truly the last resort. Nobody wants to share a desk with you. If you find yourself in this situation, I’d recommend bringing your own pens, paperclips and other supplies. And for the love of all things decent, if this is your situation, don’t ever eat a tuna sandwich at your workstation.

Good luck freelancers. Be safe out there.

Really, Microsoft? That's Your Insight?

Microsoft is about to unleash Windows Phone 7 on the world. And they’ve already started teasing us with commercials for the world’s newest Smart Phone. There are two that I’ve seen. If you haven’t seen them, watch them HERE and HERE.

They’re beautifully shot, well executed, simple and cool. I can’t say enough about them. But in my opinion, there’s one glaring problem here. The human insight that makes these spots go, just isn’t true. Kind of makes the creative a moot point.

Here’s the rationale from David Webster, chief strategy officer in Microsoft's central marketing group. I just pulled this quote off the internet without really checking my sources. I’m not a journalist, so cut me some slack here.

“Our point is to say that the right phone design can allow you to get in, get that done and get back out, which is really what I think most people would strive to do if the phone didn't interfere with that by making them do too many steps, go down too many silos, switch paths too many times.”

Well sir, I disagree. Sure, iPhone and other Smart Phone users might be annoyed about the number of steps (by my estimate, it takes three touches just to get to the phone keypad on my iPhone). But we don’t walk around staring at our phones like zombies because they’re slow or technologically cumbersome.

We’re staring at them because we’ve never held so much information in the palm of our hands before. This is new to us. We’d rather be engaged with our new toy than the world around us. In fact, I’m most zoned into my surroundings during the 30 seconds while I’m waiting for my Scrabble app to load.

I’m surprised Microsoft would build their creative campaign around this insight. Haven’t we learned anything from the other technological advances over the years that were supposed to make our lives more efficient? They don’t make life easier, they just bring on more work, longer to-do lists and tighter deadlines.

Now that’s a strategy I would love to see a strong advertising agency tackle. Really.